Post by Wildflugel on Nov 8, 2007 10:08:23 GMT -5
A new disease, called “Acquired Drahthaar Obsessive Syndrome (ADOS), has been identified by researchers. At first, ADOS was originally considered to be psychological in nature, but researchers soon realized they were dealing with an infectious agent among drahthaar owners. Epidemiologists have identified three stages of this disease. The associated symptoms for each stage are:
Stage I - You have early symptoms if:
1. You think that any GNA test within 300 miles is nearby.
2. You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning to feed
and water your drahthaar
3. Every gift you get has something to do with drahthaars.
4. You can’t remember what it was like to have just one
drahthaar.
5. Nobody’s feet are allowed on the furniture, but your
drahthaars are welcome to sleep on any piece of furniture
they choose.
6. It takes an entire separate garbage can to handle the poop.
Stage II - You definitely have the disease if:
1. The most important factor you consider when buying a new
car is how many crates you can fit in it.
2. When you look for a new house, the first thing you think of is
how many drahthaars you can kennel on the property.
3. Your drahthaars’ food bill is higher than your family’s.
4. You and your family haven’t had your annual check-up in three
years, but your drahthaars are all medically up-to-date.
5. You can only remember a person by associating them with
their drahthaar.
6. You have more pictures of your drahthaars than members of
your family.
7. Most of your conversations revolve around drahthaars.
Stage III - You are a terminal case if:
1. You wake up in the morning and find out that you put the kids
in the crates and the dogs in their beds last night.
2. You’ve traced your drahthaar’s family tree farther than you
have your own.
3. You start barking at your kids to “sit”, “stay”, and “heel.”
4. Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies.
5. You rip-up the carpet and lay tile to make clean-up so much
easier.
6. You readily allow your drahthaars to give slobbery kisses, but
you don’t dare wipe your toddler’s nose.
7. Drahthaar hair in your food is just another spice.
8. Your family tells you, “It’s either the drahthaars or us,” and
you choose the drahthaars!
Stage I - You have early symptoms if:
1. You think that any GNA test within 300 miles is nearby.
2. You begin to enjoy getting up at 5 a.m. in the morning to feed
and water your drahthaar
3. Every gift you get has something to do with drahthaars.
4. You can’t remember what it was like to have just one
drahthaar.
5. Nobody’s feet are allowed on the furniture, but your
drahthaars are welcome to sleep on any piece of furniture
they choose.
6. It takes an entire separate garbage can to handle the poop.
Stage II - You definitely have the disease if:
1. The most important factor you consider when buying a new
car is how many crates you can fit in it.
2. When you look for a new house, the first thing you think of is
how many drahthaars you can kennel on the property.
3. Your drahthaars’ food bill is higher than your family’s.
4. You and your family haven’t had your annual check-up in three
years, but your drahthaars are all medically up-to-date.
5. You can only remember a person by associating them with
their drahthaar.
6. You have more pictures of your drahthaars than members of
your family.
7. Most of your conversations revolve around drahthaars.
Stage III - You are a terminal case if:
1. You wake up in the morning and find out that you put the kids
in the crates and the dogs in their beds last night.
2. You’ve traced your drahthaar’s family tree farther than you
have your own.
3. You start barking at your kids to “sit”, “stay”, and “heel.”
4. Your cookie jar has never seen the likes of people cookies.
5. You rip-up the carpet and lay tile to make clean-up so much
easier.
6. You readily allow your drahthaars to give slobbery kisses, but
you don’t dare wipe your toddler’s nose.
7. Drahthaar hair in your food is just another spice.
8. Your family tells you, “It’s either the drahthaars or us,” and
you choose the drahthaars!